shirtfront

Thanks John, and yes here we are ringside
at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre
for the much anticipated G20 special feature event.
Bare-knuckle Shirtfront Cagefight 2014
And here come the competitors… for Team Australia…
Resplendent in a flowing Green and Gold robe, wearing a royal blue tie and sporting the famous speedos and Aussie Flag thongs, It’s Aussie Prime Minister Tony “the battler, shirtfront” Abbott!
The questions on everybody’s lips tonight: “How many budgies are smuggled away in there?” “Can Abbott live up to his earlier threats to rip the shirt from the infamous Russian leader…”
You bet you are, you, John.
And there he is… In the Red corner now, wearing only khaki green combat pants and boots, here comes the Russian President Vladimir Putin. Straight outta the Russian KGB – clearly the favourite tonight – a renowned bear wrestler, hunter and competent outdoor-type - he’s probably killed a few men before Abbott was in long trousers, John…
And there’s the bell! Out they come and Vamilder has grabbed Tony in a headlock, he’s punching Abbott in the face, with bare-knuckled fists, relentlessly. There’s blood, John… And Putin is screaming at Abbott, can’t make out what he’s saying over the noise of the crowd… And what’s Tony doing now, he’s reaching into his speedos, he’s pulling out… what is it? it’s a little vial - of something, a little clear container. I can just make out the label from here... It says: “Ebola” – oh my god, boy oh boy wowie he’s somehow removed the lid, despite the tight headlock – oh no and he splashes the contents into Valdimont’s open mouth… Putin has dropped to the canvas… Oh My God he’s projectile vomiting all over the crowd. The crowd is in a frenzy – running for the exits…
Lookout Vlad, Tony’s now sitting on Putin’s chest beating his own chest – howling like Tarzan! And now security is entering the cage, they’re rushing at the Aussie Battler – they’re pulling out Tazers. Oh My God the Prime Minister is down…
This is outta control – And now there’s ADF officers approaching the commentator box, John – I think we’re gonna have to leave it there, John… John. Back to you in the studio mate…