recent stuff by allan boyd - antipoet

antipoet - allan boyd

28 Nov 2014

I'm Allan Boyd aka the antipoet. Welcome to my site. In 1995 I founded the Openmouth sessions at the PICA Bar in Perth Western Australia, where emerging poets got loud and experimental, where indie music met spoken sounds, and performance poetry met noise. We packed the place to overflow every month! I've been pretty much doing poetry and organising arts stuff ever since.

this is not a fifo poem

21 Nov 2014

this is not a fifo poem
or a love poem
or a newman airport riddle
it’s a list of brilliant metaphors
listening to a hundred thousand
clive palmers without a face
or an earpiece
goodbye. goodbye.
my drunken goodbyes , wet-eyed
at the edge of this battered country
we’re collecting simple ideas
in haul packs, an endless riff
of cleared spinifex plains
under 50 degree lunch sun
beer, shiraz eyes
taste of pindan, ochre arms wider
than this island of empty white noise

antipoet restaurant - menu du-jour

14 Nov 2014


triple pan-fried and rolled watermelon chutney
teased on softly burnt broccolini shards

elegantly-bruised porpoise meatballs
served on a hefty bed of emasculated bronze cous-cous helmets

thinly sliced, slow-cooked equine cheeks
tossed on whisked Belgium pom-pom shells

chronically bovine citrus, with locally sourced pindan
and a quiff of breast milk butter


17 Oct 2014

Thanks John, and yes here we are ringside
at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre
for the much anticipated G20 special feature event.
Bare-knuckle Shirtfront Cagefight 2014
And here come the competitors… for Team Australia…
Resplendent in a flowing Green and Gold robe, wearing a royal blue tie and sporting the famous speedos and Aussie Flag thongs, It’s Aussie Prime Minister Tony “the battler, shirtfront” Abbott!

blood moon

10 Oct 2014

on a blood moon rise
thin cloud obscures clarity
and it rains black dogs
and swings me fast
that chronic flight of ideas
hits big this time
a bitumen fist
can’t smoke enough cigarettes
this elaborate frantic discussion
with too many voices, like axes
which may or may not
be real. an unbearable irritation.
trying to dance it off
like there’s nobody watching
but they’re real to him, okay?
are you okay?
mental as, he said, speech slurred
voice muddy, smoky.


19 Sep 2014

in pandaland theyre watching panda porn
parking panda cars in panda bays
in panda parks they smoke panda pipes
and pass the panda goon
pissed pandas on the panda verandah
poking panda puns at pedestrians
in panda parliament the panda members
pitch panda poems, pushing panda stanzas
and the panda population grows unabated
many lazy pandas sit and eat and breed
and pregnant pandas push out perfect pandas
and wait for the sneeze
pandas meander in panda packs on public transport
plucking panda banjos

first week of september

05 Sep 2014

At the AFL starter gate…
At the top it’s the Sydney Swans in red n white bloods culture and its an academy award to australian of the year all big buddy and kick it to Tippet until the siren sounds - ball
Hawthorn all happy happy wearing wees n poos all grunt n mighty fighting Hawks without a buddy, but a Clarko – did you see that, umpire
Geelong where God and his son learnt to play the game the way it should be played at home and far away – they always find a way – outta bounds


31 Aug 2014

This one’s dripping in green olive, black olive tapenade, all spearmint and chocolate bursts, yet somewhat floury, mostly tomato and cheesy mac overtones. A powerful biscuity bundle in here, more Lake Monger than Perry Lakes - the nose getting riper, redder, shouting harder as it goes along. The more you sip. And sip. And swish. The sips are getting bigger now, me and Bob Malone, sipping. Not really sipping now, more a swill, bigger mouthfuls until this fat-lady sings. Hmmm. Its blackberry yoghurt, a mango slice – the colour of bike accident bruise.

this is not a sidewalk

22 Aug 2014

this is not a sidewalk it’s a footpath
haven’t got a pencil I won’t draw a bath
if you go to the bathroom
there’s no toilet in the bathroom
and I’m worried mate
washroom restroom: dunny
dude. I’m not on my cell, I’m on the mobile
if you call be buddy, dude - I’m not your mate
data data data – your inflection doesn’t matter
take away. not take out
a shop not a store mate
aluminium aluminium aluminium
zed zed zed – not zee
spell privatize with an S not a zee
diaper nappy nappy diaper pacifier dummy dummy

#hashtag cliche

08 Aug 2014

#hashtag cliche
#gday mate
#look what the cat dragged in
#the light is on but nobody’s home
#what's not to like
#you can run, but you can't hide
#when the cat's away
#raining cats and dogs
#not in my back yard
#throw in the towel
#nip it in the bud
#trip down memory lane
#silence is golden
#calm before the storm
#no guts, no glory
#win some lose some
#no pain, no gain
#no stone unturned
#touch wood
#bat outta hell