mornin john
yr one in a billion john
its NBG John
don’t be butthurt
no need to rage-quit facebook
yr awesomesauce
there’s no way yr weak sauce
yr a glanceable
a bit clickable
sharable
snackable
maybe a little
romancable
waitin for the morning show mic drop john
lets bantz the fat-shame on the morning train john
snapchat ya manspreading
took up two seats bruh
meanwhile yr talkback with randos
@johnmcglue
at least after the show
you get an early
beer o’clock
recent stuff by allan boyd - antipoet
mornin john - for john mcglue
05 Sep 2015
Western Derby
14 Aug 2015
they want a poem about the western derby
but I hate both teams
they wanna poem about the government
but I hate both teams
so I wrote this
and I cant
I cant
waiting for words to spit out
like lyrical sparks,
searching dictionaries
for inspirational diction
for rhymes, for fact-filled fiction
but there’s naught
theres only blank white
this screen missing wit
unable to spit out the fitness
nothing here
no assonance
or alliteration
minimal enunciation
leave a row for darren
28 Jul 2015
crawl outta the swag at 530am
rummage for your boots
in the dewy mundaring dark
drag yourself to the ute
up the great eastern
off gorrie road, an eye to for roos
in the misty grey
we’re at the tree dump in the breaking light
loading a 100 boxes of radiata
fried bacon on a slice of white bread
ice on the box plastic
fingers like frozen rocks
then its a load up the bucket
heel two three drop
heel two three drop
up and back, across the paddock
smashing rows on rows on rows
dear madam speaker
07 Jul 2015
dear madam speaker
madam speaker
madam speaker
got a point of order
that oughta be treated
if I see you in the pub
I might have to teach ya
yr fundraiser helicopter
right-wing features
dear madam speaker
madam speaker
madam speaker
spin spin spin
like a gifted preacher
inside a beehive
a handful of leeches
we are all entitled to the
sticky little creatures
dear madam speaker
madam speaker
madam speaker
Mansplaining mansgrooming to men
04 May 2015
I’m off to the boy’s salon
Got an upset man bun
A busted up guy-do
Book my barber for a manicure
Got a decoupage on my cuticles
Look at my bro-scape
Like I’m an oil paint
I’m a man-canvas
I came back for a Back crack n sack
This top knot needs a service
Need a massage on my face for the ladies
For the man-groomers, not the baby boomers
Baby you can find me in the Detox Sauna / Exfoliating
or under the Hot Stone, de-stress Relaxation
Fantasy team Spray Tan
Lest we forget
25 Apr 2015
Lest we forget
We forgot
We forgot
Those that stood up at the Nek
That fell like so much mud and rock
And blood and bones
Light horsemen fallen heavy
The roar of musketry
At dawn
Five thousand bullets per minute
Cut down like grass mown
41 Derbies
25 Apr 2015
They meet again this Sunday
In the April Sun
At the fat ground, the Western Derby
And youse can tell the Vicko commentators
It’s a DERBY not a DARBY
And the scarfed mobs fill the trains early
40,000 spill in from all points of the city and beyond
This Most Marvellous Pope
25 Apr 2015
This Most Marvellous Pope
Richie’s out for 84
No wickets left in hand
No nightwatchman tonight
All heads bowed now in the shed at 2.22
T’was a worthy captains knock, they said, over
That satin voice of summer from the TV
round one
02 Apr 2015
there was movement at the clubrooms
for the word had passed around
that the black-n-red had got off scot-free
that all the pin-cushion media metaphors
the supplementary sagas
the doping dramas
the sensationalist deadline regimes
had got away
and a hundred-thousand left-wing gripe-mongers
eyes bulging, throats sore from loyal vitriol
can’t quite wipe all that spit, from all those lips
there was movement at the clubrooms
for the word had passed around
that the black-n-red had got off scot-free
that all the pin-cushion media metaphors
the supplementary sagas
the doping dramas
the sensationalist deadline regimes
had got away
and a hundred-thousand left-wing gripe-mongers
eyes bulging, throats sore from loyal vitriol
can’t quite wipe all that spit, from all those lips
